Archive | October, 2011

fiction project: characters: hen’s goin out west

31 Oct

henry is kind of an asshole. he’s the kinda guy you call ‘hen’ with relish, just to cut him down a bit. he’s not a bad person, not really, but he can be obnoxious enough to obscure that point.

however exaggerated in his own mind, his good qualities tend to shine through where is little sister is concerned. it’s the kind of protectiveness born out of adversity (and here’s where i feel a little like the asshole) – their father died when they were barely in their teens, an event that began (or maybe hastened) their mother’s mental decline. when we first meet hen and cecily, their mother’s been living in a group home where she can be better cared for and the two of them have spent their late teens and early twenties living on their own in their parents’ house.


The snow looks bruised under purple pre-dawn light while Hen stands on the back porch taking it all in. His naked legs are stuck into his heavy winter boots. The hem of his parka barely grazes the hem of his boxers. It only takes a few seconds in the cold to realize he shouldda put on some clothes, but by then he’s already lit a cigarette and there’s no turning back.

There’s a space heater in the garage, so that’s where he heads, crunching down a path that’s dug like a trench through three feet of snow. It reminds him of being a kid, but he’s not sure if that’s because winters were that bad or if he was that much shorter back then. Walking to the elementary school before the sun could melt the crust off the snow, he could sometimes make three or four steps on the surface before his weight would punch him through to the ground. Cis, only two years younger but but light as a bird, often walked the whole length of the field, faltering only if she tried to run it.

The space heater roars to life and expels a potentially deadly stream of heat that Hen’s careful to keep pointed to the empty center of the room. Over on the work table is Hen’s latest acquisition, the heavy steel hood from a Chrysler pickup that Dirty’d salvaged from his uncle’s soon to be junked junk car collection. There’s potential, but so far Hen’s only been thinking over it. With his cigarette gripped loosely in his jaws, he sets to sanding off a spot of rust. They used to make everything so sturdy, there’s enough metal here for Hen to continue grinding down to get an even, burnished new surface. So maybe that’s what he’ll do with it, carve into the middle of the substantial old thing a sleek, modern, flimsy sports car hood. That’s it. Genius.

Self-satisfaction surges to his head like adrenalin. A drink to celebrate, except for the fact that Cis would fuck him up if she thought he was getting drunk before 8AM. Never mind that it’s only a sip he’s after, she shows no mercy. Better to wait until she’s out of the house.

Hen sucks down that last of his cigarette and throws the butt at the snow drifting under the door. He kicks the space heater off and tucks a corner of the sandpaper into a rusty ulcer on the hood – to remind him of his brilliant idea – then stamps back to the house.

He checks the clock. Maybe it is too early to have a drink today but then maybe it’s late enough for this to be his last drink of last night. There’s still enough time between now and proper morning for this creative accounting to make sense.

He retrieves the vodka from a cabinet, takes a slug right there, then another. Just a shallow tumbler-full ought to be enough to get him back to sleep.

He trips on a rug in the hall and reluctantly surrenders his clunky boots – they keep the place in deep freeze winter nights to save money. As he passes, he hears Cis’s space heater purring behind her closed door. That’s what he forgot. Upstairs his room is stone cold and silent. So, must’ve been the cold that had him up so early. He clicks it on and burrows into bed, drink close at hand.


When he wakes up again and ambles back to the kitchen, lukewarm glass of vodka in hand, he finds that Cis cleaned up and turned the heat on. Good. No harm done. He takes a deep, punishing drink, then refills the glass. His days off could be like this, nothing better to do than drink in between naps if the weather was shitty and Cis had the car.

He finds his phone charging near the coffee maker, right were Cis left it for him. It’s blinking an obnoxious green at the top so he dials voice mail and listens. “Hen.” It’s Cis. “They’re gonna call, but they said they’d let me try first. Mom’s dead. She died last night. Well, this morning.” He punches nine to save the message. He figures he better, that he’s missing something.

“Henry? This is Deanna. From your Mom’s group home? I’ve got some bad news for you. I am very sorry. I am so, so sorry. Clare’s passed on. I am so sorry. I’ve talked with your sister and she’ll be picking up your mother’s things on her way home from work. Her will is being handled by a lawyer, Mr. Clark, downtown. He’ll be getting in touch with you about that. I’ll just need you or Cecily to come down and sign some–” There is a tone and the message is cut off.

“Hey, fuckface.” It’s Dirty. “So we got a dead irrigator to pick over. You get your gear and I’ll pick you up around four. Beers after?”

“Henry? This is Deanna from your Mom’s group home again–” Hen ends the call, checks the time. Dirty’ll be on his way soon. He dresses, checks that there are still cigarettes in his coat pocket and heads to the garage. His tools are congregated in a corner, left there from the pickup salvage. Saws, tin snips, sledge, other toothed and clawed tools ready to strip the metal from the bones of the dead irrigator. He spreads a length of canvass on the ground and begins to roll the tools in it, one by one. He accumulates nicks and scratches in his clumsy work, leaving a slippery, bloody sheen on his hands. He wipes rusty streaks on his thighs.

Outside he hears the crunch of tires. “You ready to go?” Dirty yells from the cab of his Suburban at the open door.

Hen hoists the canvass roll and locks up. “Yeah. You got smokes?”

Dirty holds out a fresh pack. Hen grabs it, then places his tools on the floor in the back. Dirty’s backing out before Hen’s got the passenger door shut. “This one’s just a few miles out. They’re selling the land and everything on it and getting out.” He’s all worked up about a tractor he wanted to scrap but that they’re selling to some antique dealer.

Hen lights up and cold air rushes in where he’s cracked the window. It drills into him despite the heavy coat. Pay day is next week and there are bills due, including the mortgage. The group home is generally paid from the check after that but if they need their money now, what would he let slide this week? Cis would know. But then there’s this mention of a lawyer downtown? Hen slides another cigarette from the pack, tucks it into the hem of his stocking hat for later.

He turns on the radio, loud, to a country station that sometimes plays the cowboy tunes he’s recently gotten into. “What the fuck, man?” Dirty says. Evidently he’d been talking.

“Yeah, the irrigator. Whatever.”

“Yeah the irrigator. Fuck you.” Dirty’s in one of his famously short-lived sulks. They ride on, Hank Williams the only one breaking the silence.

almost home

27 Oct

i finally found the place. it is a little garden level in bay village which, as the birth place of edgar allan poe, i take as a good sign.

it has been a long slog, but not as bad as i thought it would be. the slog continues, though – i don’t close until the end of november – so maybe the real headache is to come. but i doubt it. everything has been straightforward and the people involved pleasant and responsive.

the one thing that has lived up to the big, scary hype? financing. already the hurt is on with little expenses (application fees, inspection, credit check fees) piling up. and i’m assuming it will be a few months after closing before i get over the sticker shock. to be fair, my rent is a pittance at least in terms of the greater boston area, one of the most expensive rental markets in the country. it’s not so much that my expenses are going to soar as i am entering the real world, paying closer to what most of the poor, cash-strapped suckers stand for around here. at least that is the line i’m taking.

so…am i crazy? boston isn’t supposed to be in the long view for me and here i am, not only planting roots but paving over them and caging in the trunk, like the little trees lining the cobblestone sidewalks of my new neighborhood. crazy like a fox, i hope. two more years to finish up my thesis, so i’ll be here anyway. and then there is the idea of having my own space. beyond all the decorating and remodeling ideas that have me excited, scrawling floor plans on whatever is at hand whenever i’m sitting on the train, there is something so calming in knowing that, at least for these square feet in this particular place in the world, i am on my own. it’s the same allure that makes me a city dweller now and probably forever: that gorgeous anonymity afforded by a crush of people just as faceless as i am because there isn’t scrutiny enough for all of us.

(maybe that’s what’s to be expected of someone who grew up in a family of six and had roommates ever since leaving home. if it wasn’t the city it would probably be hermitage. what can i say? blake was right: you never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.)

there is so much possibility in this new place. i have high hopes for what it might mean for my writing – i’ll be too broke to go out and cause as much trouble thereby recouping more than a few hours to spend at the desk. and, now having the domicile, i’ll get to try out being domestic. i may start cooking and, if i can survive the learning curve without poisoning myself, i might even try baking. hmm. this could get out of hand. considering my tendency toward hipster spinsterism, i’ll have to keep an eye on myself. i will be damned if i end up living with four cats celebrating the holidays in a hand-knitted reindeer sweater! (damned, i tell you!)

so that is the state of things (and also my excuse for neglecting the blog for this long). perhaps it is just the effect of pulling on another pair of big-girl pants, but with real estate on the line everything seems to get a shade more serious. the plan – get back into a more regular writing schedule by the time i get into the new place. finish up my classes. finish up the screen plays that are still only drafts. i am putting down roots, but the seeds will be airborne soon enough. time is ticking…

Fantasy Football meet Fantasy Writing

4 Oct

Okay.  Fantasy Football as define by Wikipedia: a game in which participants assemble an imaginary team of real life players and score points based on those players’ actual statistical performance or their perceived contribution on the field of play. So, Fantasy Writing is kinda similar:  a post in which the writer assembles an imaginary life of real life people (which includes, most importantly, themselves) and writes in the present tense about their new life in a new town and their performance or perceived life in said town.  Basically, I want to completely change my current reality and live in the ‘now’ somewhere else.  Except, I don’t live there.  I live here, in Boston.  But let’s just use our imagination.

This is my new format for writing, my saving grace, and a way to manifest my reality.  I have shared this with Haley and she too is on board.  Don’t be confused when we start our new Fantasy Writing lives.  We’re still here and there and it’ll be great.